Monday, October 6, 2008
♥ Again It Happened..
I thought nothing was gonna happen between us again. Perhaps i was thinking too much and i held too high hopes for things to go smoothly between the two of us. But yet again, it happened. I don't really know what he's thinking. I stayed over night because of him again today and he went home took a bath and came back again too. All was smooth untill he said he wanna buy drink and because i just finished my food and was gonna throw the rubbish away. I offered to help him buy a drink and then he said it's okay he's gonna go toilet too. Because i'm worried and i don't want him to get thirsty, i demanded that i wanted to buy for him and then he's face changed because of this. I wonder what in the world did i do wrong? He left me at my working place alone again and went home. And i stayed overnight just to be with him. How great.. I really don't know what is he thinking.
Whatever... I just don't know what's right anymore. I'm so tired, and yet i stayed overnight just to be with him everyday after work. Though i'm hurting so much from the physical pain i'm suffering, but still i tolerated and spent the time with him. I wonder why is it so hard..
I can't be bothered to think anymore, can't bear to think what's gonna happen between us. I can only let nature takes it's own course. Yet again this seems to be my illusion, but what to expect. My life itself is a total disaster. Like i said i can't blame him or anyone if this goes wrong, cause i'm the one who gave ourselves a chance. I asked for it didn't i ? ..
Perhaps we're really not suitable for each other. Characteristics clashed.. Horoscope and Zodiac signs clashed too. I don't want to make the both of us suffer anymore. Without him was heartache and loneliness.. With him it was tolerance and discomfort.. If your me .. what will you choose? .. I myself wonder at times.. What the hell do i really want for myself.. Head hurts.. Hurts terribly ..
Signing off for now.. Going home.. Taking a cab.. I would have taken a train back home earlier on.. If it wasn't for him. But it's ok..I'm not complaining.. Cause since i asked for it, so i deserved it. (:
2:00:00 AM
