Tuesday, September 23, 2008

18th of September was JiaSheng's Birthday. Woke up late and took a cab to Bishan MRT station to meet up with him and we took the train to Somerset. Haha, planned to catch a movie "Wall-E" and it was definately the most interesting movie i had seen for this time of the year. Bought him a cheap but really nice handphone ornament with he's name on it. He looked so happy just like a little kid being offered candy. It was a happy day indeed.

Two days ago , i head to kpool because i wanna share my thoughts with my bestie XiaoMing. But alas, his girlfriend Rachael was there. She don't really like me that much. Actually, My presense over there disturbed her alot and i would say she really dislike me alot. Because why ? Because i'm XiaoMing's First Love and well, he was mine too. But one thing that she doesn't know and will never understand. Though we were once lovers, But there's one thing that's holding our hearts together. He was the person who truly really understands me and of course, i understand him alot too. I would say there will be no one else who would truly understand him better than i do. We're the best of friends. More then friends, But not lovers. A person like Rachael would never understand this special relationship of us. She would only misunderstand that there's something going on between xiaoming and me. She would only get jealous and started to create problems for him. Why can she not understand? Old lovers can still become friends.. And become the best of friends. I wanna talk to her so much about it. But i knew she would only get angry and we'll end up getting conflict. So i left the place after i talked to a few of my friends for abit.

I guess most of the girls do like to have many admirers. But for me, it's really bad. I mean, it's not that i'm weird or what. Or i suppose i am weird afterall. But having all these admirers.. It's hard for me. I want to be alone for now .. and i guess i won't be falling in love for quite a while. Jia Sheng is one of them, Bee Huat is another. I rejected them but they wouldn't give in. It's not that i'm attractive or what .. I'm actually worse then average. I wonder what qualities i have in me that attracted them into liking me. I can't be bothered with those answers at all. All i know is , I'm fine now .. Fine being alone.. And actually really happy to be alone.

Yesterday, XiaoWen came to look for me at the shop which i'm working at. Surprised me really. Been some time since i've met him. And we talked alot of stuffs on our way home. He told me a few of he's failed relationships and i of course tried to comfort him. But he doesn't really seemed to be unhappy. It's really nice to meet old friends once in awhile.

Right now, there's dozen of stuffs in my mind. I guess i need to relax myself during my next off day. I'm starting to recover.. starting to heal myself. Being alone isn't that bad afterall . Infact... It actually suits me more.. I'm starting to feel life isn't that bad afterall.